As a stay at home mom, the overwhelm and stress we feel can be unbearable at times. I stopped doing three things, and it has made my life SO much simpler. Here are some of the best tips that are sure to change the game for you!
First, think about why you are overwhelmed as a stay at home mom
Most of the time, I don’t know why I’m overwhelmed. I know I feel stressed and it feels like a big deal, but can’t really put my finger on it. I have to be super self aware to avoid getting to the point of overwhelm.
I’m a practical person, and I like practical solutions. When I start feeling that stay at home parent stress, I have to ask myself a few questions to figure out where it’s coming from.
Ask yourself these questions as a stay at home mom:
When is the last time I had a break?
Sometimes having some alone time be a cure all for a stay at home mom. It’s not that anything in particular is overwhelming, but being home with my precious family members without a moment to myself could be the cause. If you’re in a situation where child care is hard to come by, try getting creative with the time you have. If your kids still have a nap time, you could focus this time on doing something for yourself and set aside your to-do list for a bit.
What has my daily rhythm looked like lately as a stay at home mom?
When we start flying by the seat of our pants and not sticking to our daily rhythm, things get thrown off. The lack of structure could be causing unnecessary stress. I’ve noticed my kids (and I) really need that (especially our morning routine). They do better when they know what is coming and what to expect. Not to say we don’t waver off our routine every now and then, we definitely do. But for the most part, having a daily schedule that we can stick to really helps decrease overwhelm. We also make sure to have scheduled free time so they can work on the things they want to work on!
Is there a child that is struggling more than usual?
If something is heavy on my heart, I can start to feel stressed. It’s not usually a conscious thought, it just happens. If a child has been having some bad days, a hard week or hard season – we take the weight of that on ourselves. It makes stay at home motherhood a lot heavier.
How is communication in your marriage?
Sometimes I can feel a strain on my days when communication in my marriage is not where it needs to be. Simply just reconnecting with my spouse and talking about the overwhelm helps me feel better. Also touching base about your own schedule is super helpful as well.
Anything else bothering you?
There can be a number of things causing stress and overwhelm. If you are having a hard time getting a hold of it, I would highly suggest looking into counseling! It has been instrumental in my growth as a wife, mother and friend. Also, be sure to take a little time and surround yourself with some encouraging mom friends – it’ll make such a difference.
Check your heart
I have to remind myself that these little people God blessed us with are their own people. They are going to make their own decisions and my job as their mom is to train them. I try to acknowledge the struggle, while checking in on my own heart to make sure I’m not projecting any of my own struggles onto them.
There’s a book I often refer to when a specific struggle is repeating itself. It’s a book by Wendy Speake called Triggers. I bought this book two years ago and it is still one of my favorites. The little things can make all the difference. It’s so helpful and encouraging.
Three things I stopped doing to make stay at home mom life easier:
1. I stopped meal planning
Hold up, what? How would that make life easier for a stay at home mom? I may be a little nuts for saying this, but hear me out! Are you a planner at heart? Me too. I love going to bed on Sunday nights knowing that my meals are all planned out and ready to go. But what I didn’t like was the hours and hard work I was putting into it.
I would spend a lot of time on Pinterest looking for recipes with my meal plan notebook, and then tried an app, and finally just got a binder. I just wanted something to make meal planning easier but it seemed to just get more complicated. So I decided to ditch meal planning I did for such a long time, and do what our grandparents used to do – cook real food and don’t complicate it.
How to eat healthy with young kids without meal planning
Why did I feel the need to make these elaborate meals when I have a husband who will eat anything and three kids six and under? Who was I trying to impress? Turns out the answer is me. I wanted to feel like I was giving my family the tastiest, healthiest food around.
I watched a video by Farmhouse on Boone called “How to Eat Healthy Meals Every Night Without Meal Planning-Large Family” and was forever changed. Watch it to find out how she does healthy meals without meal planning. It saves me so much time and unnecessary stress. I can feed my family real, whole food without complicating it. There was definitely a learning curve in those first few days, but it really has made my stay at home mom life so much easier!
Her biggest tip that helped me was to always have certain staples on hand (potatoes, carrots, meat, veggies, etc) and to always have some type of meat thawing in the fridge. Ever since I’ve started doing this, meal time has been a breeze. I stock up on things I know we will eat, thaw as needed and throw something together for dinner each night.
The good thing about it is that it’s actually helped me get more creative in the kitchen. I’m not one to deviate from a recipe, I don’t know what will taste good so I always stick to what they tell me. But since I’m throwing things together on my own, I’ve learned so much about food and really enjoyed cooking.
A week’s worth of meals looks something like this:
– a whole chicken in the instant pot, veggies and rice
– chicken pot pie using the leftover chicken
– spaghetti
– taco night
– potato soup
– leftover night
– chili and cornbread
Keep your pantry stocked
The key for me is keeping things stocked up. This way I can throw together a meal quickly and it doesn’t take much thought. I do still use recipes but they are the same ones so I know what to keep on hand. This isn’t the time for me to spend hours prepping food and scrolling Pinterest. My attention is needed elsewhere!
This was a simple and much needed shift for me. I know what I need for dinner because I’m not looking at recipes all day. I’m doing what I want with what we have and it’s been so freeing. It gives me so much more time throughout our daily routine.
I usually do a grocery run/farm delivery once a week. We are pretty basic with lunch and usually eat eggs from our chickens or homemade biscuits for breakfast; I don’t put much effort in those meals. Dinners are the ones that were taking up so much time. If there is a recipe I want to try we will do it on our Sabbath night (which for us is every Friday night). We tend to get fancy for those.
2. I stopped folding kids laundry
Again, you may think this sounds crazy, but you have to try it! Our new family laundry system has been saving me hours each week. I have an in-depth post about this system, you can read it here: A Family Laundry System that Works.
To sum it up – the best thing I did for our family laundry was to stop folding my kids clothes! Even really young children are capable of doing this. My older two kids (age 4 + 6) do their own laundry and it’s been a huge help.
One of my goals is to raise them to be successful adults. If they are capable of doing household chores, I want to give them the opportunity to do so!
3. I stopped carrying my phone around with me as a stay at home mom
Game changer, friends. GAME CHANGER. I found myself often thinking and feeling like I “didn’t have time” for things. I made excuses when really I could’ve made time. Social media is a two edged sword, isn’t it? It can fill you up and drain you all at the same time.
I decided to take control of my phone and stop letting it control me. It’s so simple, but so effective. I just leave my phone on my nightstand unless I need it for something specific. Scrolling Facebook does not count as specific so put it down!
I do have a camera nearby for those moments I want to capture. But if I do want to use my phone for pictures or video I will go get it, take the picture, then put it back. I’m still using it, but for a specific purpose. It can be a great tool when we are in charge of it. Same thing with work, texts, etc. I do what I need to do then put it back on the nightstand.
How it’s made my stay at home mom life easier
The good news is that when you have more time to be with and play with your kids, they are more filled up. When their needs are met, they are less likely to struggle with behavior. Now no one is perfect, so of course they still struggle. But when I am on my phone less, they are seen and heard more, and who doesn’t want that? My life is easier because I’m paying more attention to what matters most.
Now go get to stopping!
I hope these three practical tips encouraged you, friend. And I truly hope they make life easier for you! Please know that you are doing a good job, and don’t be so hard on yourself when your days don’t look like you thought they would.
Thank you for being here. Reach out or comment below with any questions, and let me know if these tips have helped you!
Stay at Home Mom Book Recommendations:
My little ones do most of the folding now.
That’s awesome!
I’m going to try to stop carrying my phone as much great tips!
It really does make such a difference!
I love this!
Thank you, Hanna!