In this post, I’m sharing encouragement for moms who need it (which let’s be honest, we all need it!). Motherhood is such a blessing, but it is bound to come with seasons of overwhelm and weariness.
Here are 10 areas of encouragement for moms:
1. Keep an eternal perspective
The days are long, but the years are short. I’ve heard that since I because a mom and strongly believe it’s true. Some days can leave you feeling so overwhelmed and drained. It can be tough to think eternally on these days.
I have to remind myself that some of my biggest growth as a believer has come through trials. I wouldn’t be growing if everything were easy. Remembering that God is sovereign, and that nothing surprises Him helps me turn to Him.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.”
James 1:2-3 (ESV)
God has not forgotten you. He sees you and hears you and is right there with you. That prayer for more patience – He hears it. The one that asks for guidance with discipline – He hears it. The prayer to have more energy and speak more kindly – He hears it. He hears each and every one.
2. Remember that the Lord chose you
He chose YOU to be their mom. He chose you to wipe their noses and wake up with them multiple times a night.You are the one they feel most comfortable with. You are their safe place. You are the one they need.
When you start to feel inadequate or ill-prepared for this calling, remember that He chose you and He did it on purpose.
3. You will be given more than you can handle
Has anyone ever told you that the Lord will not give you more than you can handle? It turns out that is not what is says in the Bible. However, it does talk a lot about the hardships we can expect here on earth.
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33
And while no one wants to go through hard things, it does say that the Lord will never leave us nor forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6). I know I couldn’t do any of this without the healing and saving grace of Jesus. In those moments when you feel like you cannot handle anything else, remember that you don’t have to. I, on my own, could not handle the miscarriages we went through. But I do believe that He is there to walk alongside us to help us get through the hardest of days.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
Deuteronomy 31:6 (ESV)
3. Ask yourself whose standards you are trying to live up to
What’s best for your family is what’s best. The only standard you should set for yourself is the one in the Bible. If it’s not in the Bible, your convictions are your convictions. When I align myself with the Word of God, all of the little things seem to be just that – little things.
The opinions of others can really get me down at times. It can feel like I’m doing something wrong when I really thought I was doing ok. Questions from others can make us question ourselves. But remember – the only standard we need to live up to is the one in the Bible.
4. What are you consuming?
Social media. Mmmmmm I don’t want to talk about it but we have to. What are you consuming? Do you feel better or worse after being on social media?
One piece of advice that really helped my social media experience was this: Unfollow or mute anyone that is causing you anxiety. If I follow someone who leads me to worry like I wasn’t worrying before, I probably need to stop following them. And you too have permission to do so. Be so careful about what you consume.
I have taken many social media hiatuses and they have all been wonderful, but I do miss things about it when I’m gone. I miss the connection and encouragement that can be found there.
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What I realize on those social media breaks is that I am not over-analyzing and comparing nearly as much. Eliminating distractions really helps me be more present with my kids and overall a much better mom.
Here are some red flags that tell me I need to take a break off social media:
- picking up my phone for no specific reason
- getting frustrated if my kids need me when I’m on my phone
- when I feel overwhelmed with the opinions of others
- comparing myself to others
- missing moments because I’m distracted by my phone
When I sit and truly ask myself if my phone is being used for God’s glory, it’s kind of a slap in the face at times. A good slap in the face, if there is such a thing. I’m thankful for the things the Lord reveals to me during my social media breaks. I’m thankful that He leads me back to Himself, because that’s where I long to be.
If your phone is bringing you down, fasting from social media is a great place to start.It’s good to have a clear vision and purpose for this little box we hold so close to us.
5. A bad day does not make you a bad mom
Bad days do not define you. Praise the Lord. If my motherhood was defined by my bad days, I would be a blubbering mess. I know the feeling at the end of one of those bad days. The ones where you beat yourself up and wish you would’ve done something different.
To me, it’s just a reminder that I am flawed and in need of a Savior. I cannot do this on my own and in my own strength. I am so thankful for the way the Lord cares for us on those hard days. I believe God gives us the good days filled with sweet moments to remind us that just because we had a bad day, doesn’t mean we’re a bad mom.
6. Read every Sally Clarkson book
For real. Sally is a great source of encouragement for moms. I have filled up on her wisdom for years. I feel like she’s a mentor to me at times. She has such a gentle way of speaking truth and encouraging me in this journey.
If you haven’t read any of Sally’s books, I’d highly recommend starting with The Mission of Motherhood. I have read this book multiple times since I became a mom and each time it has helped me in so many ways.
Here are some other wonderful book options from Sally:
Mom Heart Moments (a devotional)
The Lifegiving Home: Creating a Place of Belonging and Becoming
Awaking Wonder: Opening Your Child’s Heart to the Beauty of Learning
The Lifegiving Parent: Giving Your Child a Life Worth Living for Christ
7. Hard is not the same as bad
I read this from Abbie over at misformama.net. You can also find her over on instagram.
Hard feels bad at times, and it definitely can be. But everything that is hard in motherhood is not bad. It’s just hard. When I shift my perspective on this, I find that I am less likely to complain about the everyday hardships that come with being a mom.
- It’s hard waking up at 2am to feed a baby, but it’s not bad.
- It’s hard being needed all the time, but it’s not bad
- It’s hard when children disobey, but it’s not bad
- It’s hard when siblings fight, but it’s not bad
- It’s hard when things don’t go our way, but it’s not bad
These are all things that are part of motherhood. They are hard, but they are not bad. A change in perspective can really change everything about how you’re looking at motherhood.
8. Grace upon grace
I don’t have any tattoos, but if I did this would be plastered on my forehead. There are days when I get so down on myself, and the Lord graciously brings me back to Him. Grace is a gift, let Him give it to you when you need it most!
9. Is there a root cause for the way you are feeling?
This is where I usually go wrong. I know I’m frustrated, but I just keep thinking about how frustrated I am instead of getting to the root of what caused it. But most of the time when I am frustrated, it’s not because of one particular thing my kids did. It’s my own heart issue that needs to be dealt with.
Sometimes I step back and look at the stressors in my life. I analyze things like how my marriage is doing and what our finances look like. If we can get to our own heart issue, we are less likely to snowball down into frustration land.
10. Know that you are not alone
What I would give to have known this is my early years of parenting. I felt so alone at times, like I was the only one feeling alone in my struggles. Turns out we are all more similar than we realize.
Regardless of what our social media feed looks like, we are all dealing with hardships. We are all trying our best and doing what we feel is best for our family.
Reaching out to other moms is one of the best things I could’ve done for myself and for my kids. Community can bring you out of some of your darkest days. Find your people, be the one that reaches out even when you feel like no one is reaching out to you.
You are not alone, friend.
Encouragement for moms – what I wish we could do
I wish I could sit with you over a cup of coffee and encourage you in person, but for now I hope this will do! Remember that you are chosen, you are loved, you are not alone and you are the one your kids need.
[…] Culture tells us to do it all and do it all well. But friends, we were not called to do it all. Here is a post I did to encourage moms who are feeling overwhelmed if you’d like to read […]