Is being a homemaker a gift or a burden? I’d have to answer that it has been both for me. The Lord is working on my heart in some big ways and I’m excited to share with you how I’m learning to look at being a homemaker as a gift, instead of a burden.
What does it mean to be a homemaker?
If you ask the dictionary, it will tell you it simply means “managing a home.” It sounds so simple, but it can feel so complicated at times.
I was the little girl who always dreamed about what it would be like to be a wife and a mom. I longed for those titles. Once I got them, I had no idea of all that it would entail.
Motherhood has a way of making you feel like you’re losing yourself a bit. So many changes, so many unknowns, so many new fears. It can be overwhelming to say the least.
In the midst of all those emotions and learning curves, we have a Biblical calling to be homemakers. It is a calling to manage our homes and take care of our family.
When I had three kids under the age of five, homemaking was the last thing on my mind. I liked to keep my home tidy, but that was the extent of it.
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Ask the Lord to soften your heart towards homemaking
Over time, the Lord has really worked on my heart and transformed the way I view homemaking. Being a homemaker is truly an honor, and I’ve come to learn that it is one of the most important jobs we could do. I love this quote from C.S. Lewis…
It isn’t so much the tasks of being a homemaker that make it so difficult, it is my attitude towards those tasks. I’ve learned that it’s not just about what we do in our homes, but how we take care of the people that are in it.
Seeing those tasks as acts of service to my family has helped me do the tasks with a happier and more grateful heart. It’s not about the tasks we need to accomplish, it’s about the people we are serving.
Much of my learning to follow Jesus is unlearning to follow myself.
Burk Parsons
It’s so true, that everything my flesh desires is often opposite of where the Lord is leading me. It is a daily battle, but it’s one worth fighting. “More of You, less of me.” I have to say these words daily.
When homemaking becomes overwhelming
If I can be honest about it, taking care of a family and a home can be downright overwhelming. Culture tells us to do it all and do it all well. But friends, we were not called to do it all. Here is a post I did to encourage moms who are feeling overwhelmed if you’d like to read more.
The times I have felt most overwhelmed is when I am wearing way too many hats. At one point when I was pregnant with my third, I was working as a nurse PRN in an oncology clinic, doing photography, running an Amazon business, and taking care of a two year old and four year old. Overwhelmed is an understatement.
After I had my third daughter, I decided to drop a few hats and move my focus more on my family and my home. I stopped doing photography and I quit my nursing job. It was a huge adjustment to not be doing all the things, but in the long run it was such a gift.
In your overwhelm, know that you are not alone. Every mom I know has gone through seasons of absolute overwhelm. But that’s just it, it is a season. If you’re knee deep in trying to keep a home, take care of your kids, possibly homeschooling your kids, and you may even be working from home – it feels like a lot because it is a lot.
Seasons of overwhelm may be inevitable, but I am so thankful for the One who walks alongside me in every season of life. Let’s take a look at what the Bible says about homemaking to get a clear view of our calling.
What does the Bible say about homemaking?
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Titus 2:3-5
The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.
Proverbs 14:1
She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27
Biblical homemaking looks like this. We are to:
- love our husband and children
- be self-controlled
- be pure
- work at home
- be kind
- submit to our husbands
- take care of our home
I think the biggest realization that changed everything for me was this: when I am operating in my Biblical role and calling, I am living out God’s design for my marriage and my family. It was simple. I just had to do what the Lord was asking me to do.
Simple, but not easy. I fought and still fight that list above. But when I surrender to what God calls me to, my home is full of peace. And I have longed for that since I can remember – to keep a home that is peaceful. To create a haven that my husband and children feel safe in.
It is a calling, and I don’t want to take it lightly. But friends, it is a calling that leads to so much joy. I have missed out on so many joyful moments because of the tasks at hand. I know now that no task is greater than the needs of my children. No task is more important than taking a moment to get on my child’s level and truly see and hear them.
How to find joy in being a homemaker
Is there joy to be found in the everyday, mundane tasks that we do as homemakers? I don’t know about you, but I don’t usually light up when it’s time to do the dishes. Folding laundry is not my jam. But as my attitude and posture has changed towards homemaking, my view of these tasks has changed as well.
Instead of saying I have to, try replacing it with “I get to.”
- I have to do the dishes vs. I get to do the dishes
- I have to sweep the floor vs. I get to sweep the floor
- I have to go do math with my daughter vs. I get to go to math with my daughter
- I have to cook dinner vs. I get to cook dinner
- I have to take care of our home vs. I get to take care of our home
The thing is, these tasks have to happen. Someone has to take care of our home or it will fall apart. If we already have to do these things, why not find a way to do them joyfully?
The little people in our home may not remember all the home cooked meals we made for them. They may not remember every time you folded their laundry or took care of them when they were sick. But the Lord remembers it. He sees how devoted you are to your family and your home.
Being a homemaker with purpose
When our heart and attitude change towards the everyday tasks, the atmosphere of our home changes. Remember that housework is holy work. It is a calling and a gift to be a homemaker.
Our culture says that women are overworked and overwhelmed and I’m here to fight back against that. I think if our view of home and motherhood is based on what the world says, it would be hard to find joy in that.
God gives us His word as a guide, not as a harness. He is not holding us back from anything, He is showing us how to live an abundant and full life. We just have to surrender our fleshly desires, and fully embrace the gift of being a homemaker.
I pray that this does not overwhelm you, but that it lightens your load. It can all feel like too much at times because it is too much for one person to handle. I believe that God does give us more than we can handle. Our need for him grows during those times and there can be so much growth in those overwhelming seasons.
Wherever you are in your homemaking journey, know that the Lord sees you. He sees every act of service you are doing for your family. He’s there to guide you and help you live out your Biblical calling as a homemaker. It is not just about the tasks at hand, but about taking care of the people God put in your home.
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